So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
