Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
