omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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