i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
