i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
