What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Someone came in the potted fern
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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