it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Even my vagina gasped.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
