lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
