You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
40s are totally the cure
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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