you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
