i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Someone came in the potted fern
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
