She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
