You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
