My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I puked a lego.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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