I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
