Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
