i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
