just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
