can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
