if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
