The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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