I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
