just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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