Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
