only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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