my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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