He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
