theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
