Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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