ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize