Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
