U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
