are you so shy because you have an std?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
