I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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