just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sext me about skeletons
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
