i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
