Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
