I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
