Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
