im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
