She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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