im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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