I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
