Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
