ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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