I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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