Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
