The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
