uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
