win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
