hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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