In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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