either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Randomize
