Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and she was petting her beer can
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
