I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
