Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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