real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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