At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the day after is always just damage control
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize