I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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