? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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