Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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