Michael Bay diarrhea
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
