Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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